raining books and blondes
by Empress of Everything
Summary: Trying to finish up a paper while hiding from the weather outside, Cobra is a little startled to discover that it can rain inside. Well, it can rain books and blondes. Does that count? {Modern AU, CoLu, MidKino.}
1. Chapter 1: Raining Indoors

"Watch out!"

Cobra was given no time to react. Half a dozen heavy books seemed to fall from the sky right onto his head. He lay there on his back, feeling dazed.

When the girl landed on top of him holding more books, he couldn't really bring himself to feel surprised. Both lay there for several moments, trying to recover from such a nasty shock. Winded, Cobra didn't even want to think about moving. Besides, it wasn't every day he got to hold a girl, accidentally or not. His mind conveniently ignored the fact that she had just fallen off a ladder and dropped heavy books on his head. Details, details. She smelled really good, too, something like warm strawberries…

"Uhhh…" Cobra felt the girl shift on top of him, rolling over and landing with a light thump on the floor. The books dropped out of her arms. "Uhh…tell me when the room stops spinning." He heard her mumble. He risked a glance at his assailant and stopped thinking for a few moments.

He may have stopped breathing, too, but he wasn't sure.

She was _gorgeous_.

Light blonde hair was swept up into a messy bun on top of her head. Her eyes were closed as she tried to recover from her fall. Red glasses were perched slightly askew on her pert nose. And her lips…Mavis, _wow_.

Cobra yanked himself out of those thoughts. No, he wasn't here to ogle a girl who had just dropped a pile of very heavy books on his head, and then proceeded to land on him as well.

Nope, not gonna happen. He had research that needed to be done and there was no time for distractions!

Okay, she was pretty cute. But that was it.

Nothing more.

…

He was totally lying to himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a gruff voice, trying to disguise the fact he had just been checking her out. The girl's eyes opened. She meeped and sat bolt upright. That was apparently a bad idea, if the way she was clutching her head was any indication. She must've hit her head on the way down. She sighed and looked around, dropping her hands from her head. Catching sight of the books strewn about, she appeared to be puzzled. Cobra watched what was probably fifteen different thoughts and scenarios flash like lightning across her face. It was then that she noticed his silent presence. Again.

"Uh, hi." She reached up and brushed a lock of hair back.

"Hi." Cobra decided to keep his interactions with her to a minimum. Kinana needed him to hurry up and get their research materials and this blonde nuisance was getting in the way. Cute or no.

Said blonde nuisance seemed to be studying him with a surprising amount of intensity. "I'm sorry," she said. "I think we might've gotten off on the wrong foot. I'm Lucy."

"Cobra."

"It's nice to meet you, Cobra." And the girl- _Lucy, that was a pretty name_ -( _no! stay focused!_ )-seemed to genuinely mean it. Most people who met him didn't react so positively. Lucy blinked and rubbed her head. "Um, do you think you could tell me what happened?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember?"

Lucy looked sheepish. "No, not really. My friend Levy and I are working on a paper together and she sent me for more books." Lucy frowned. "Even though Levy is much better in the library than I am. Anyway, I was trying to get a book on the top of the shelf and I must've slipped?" She looked to him for confirmation.

"Yeah, you told me to look out and then it started raining books and blondes."

Cobra watched understanding and horror dawn on Lucy's face.

"Oh. My. Mavis. Did I drop all those books on you?" He nodded. She groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"You also have quite a bruise forming." Cobra leaned forward and poked her forehead. Lucy shrieked and slapped his hand away. Cobra wasn't really sure why he had just touched a very obvious injury. His traitorous mind, mostly the part that thought the blonde was cute, whispered that he just wanted and excuse to touch her. He still couldn't get the feeling of her whole body pressed against him out of his head.

"Lu-chan? Where are… Oh, my Mavis, _what happened?!_ "

Lucy winced, covering her ears. "Levy-chan, must you be so loud in the library?" The girl she had called Levy just stood in the mouth of the aisle gaping at the two. Cobra winced. If she stared any more, her brown eyes were going to fall out of her head.

"Erik? Where did you g-? WHAT HAPPENED?" Oh boy, Kinana had found them. Now he was never going to hear the end of this. She was going to tell Sorano, who would tell Meredy, who would tell Macbeth, and Macbeth was a shameless gossip, so the whole campus was bound to know what happened (or some version thereof) by the end of the day.

Cobra sighed, resigned to his fate, heaving himself up and reaching a hand down to the half-way conscious blonde.

Lucy blinked up at him before smiling and accepting his hand. "Thank you," she said quietly. She risked a glance at their hyperventilating companions. Her brown eyes flicked back to meet his indigo eyes. Biting her lip, Lucy fiddled the hem of her shirt. "Um, so, do you want to go get coffee? My treat, since I dropped books on your head and then landed on you." She clasped her hands behind her back. "Please? I'd…I'd like that."

He didn't even have to think about it. "Sure, I'd like that, too."

Behind them, Cobra could hear squealing. Soft fingers brushed against his more callused ones as Lucy slipped her hand into his.

"Let's go, then." The smile she gave him was worth getting rained on as they ran laughing through a torrential downpour to the campus coffee shop.

Besides, when it rained books and blondes, who knew what would happen?

* * *

CoLu. Give me all the CoLu. I need it in my life.

I hope y'all liked the story! Be sure to look out for my birthday gift to y'all (since I'm half-Hobbit and that's what we do) next Sunday!


	2. Chapter 2: Shameless Gossip

**A/N:** You guys are _**so**_ amazing, it blows my mind! Everyone has asked for a continuation of RBB, so here we go! More Cobra (of course!) and Macbeth makes an appearance! (And yes, there is some MidKino in the story, but it's not super obvious. :) )

AHHH! This chapter was so much fun to write! I love Cobra/Macbeth BROTP! And it has turned out waaaaay longer than I ever expected it would!

This is dedicated to my darling, wonderful beta, since it's her birthday today! Thanks for being there to listen to all my crazy ideas at all hours of the day and night, offering advice, watching anime with me, and fangirling over my stories. She's the one who got me hooked on fanfiction and anime in the first place, so it only stands to reason that she finally gets a dedication! I love you, crazy girl!

* * *

"So I heard you had a date with Lucy Heartfilia yesterday." Cobra sent his oldest friend/roommate/brother-in-arms a withering look as they walked home from the store back to the apartment the two shared with their friend Jellal. Macbeth should know by now that 'subtle' probing did not work with him.

"Shut up. It's not your concern."

Macbeth ignored him, singularly unaffected by his glare. 15 years of best friendship had made him immune to Cobra's harsh looks. Besides, most people knew better than to cross Macbeth. The man was almost always 'sleeping' in high traffic areas, so there was really no telling what he heard. Who knew how many secret conversations he had overheard? How many dark secrets could he blackmail people with?

Cobra glowered off into space. Macbeth had enough blackmail material on him that he could ruin his life with a few well-placed sentences. He had learned in the past that it was best to neither confirm nor deny anything his gossipy old biddy of a best friend told him.

Macbeth and Cana Alberona singlehandedly ran the rumor mill and betting pool of Vermillion University. How, he didn't want to know.

He had been right yesterday when he guessed that his interaction/assault by Lucy would make its way back to Macbeth. Add that to the fact the two had left the library together, holding hands and going to a nearby coffee shop, well, it was a miracle that the rumors weren't a little more… _suggestive_.

"Tell me what really happened and I'll get off your case." Macbeth said in a wheedling tone. Never having heard that tone of voice from the red-eyed man, Cobra shot him a confused look.

"Why do you care so much about what happened? Hasn't your spy system told you?"

Macbeth shook his head pityingly. "Spies can only tell me so much."

"AHAH! I knew it!" Cobra pumped a fist in the air, nearly dropping the groceries. "You admit you have spies! Finally!" Macbeth gave him a deadpan look.

"Of course I do. How do you think I know everything that goes on here?" He waved a hand. "But that's beside the point. I heard from Yukino via Meredy, Kino's sister, and Kinana, who did not see what happened. That's a fourth-hand report, not reliable at all. Only you and Miss Heartfilia know what happened and no doubt the drunkess had cornered her by now, if not yesterday."

"Then why aren't you interrogating _her_ , instead of giving _me_ the third degree?"

Macbeth rubbed his forehead with long, slim fingers, shifting the bag of groceries to his other arm. "It's for your own good, Cobra. Do you remember the _last_ time you tried to ask a member of the female species out on a date?"

Cobra actually had to think about that for a long time. When _was_ the last time he had dated? Or asked a girl out? He blinked when he realized the last time had been in sophomore year when he had asked Ultear Milkovich, senior, captain of the track team, and one of the most gorgeous women around, for a date on a dare. The beatdown he had received had put him off dating for what was going on five years now. He didn't think he had _ever_ actually taken a girl out before in the course of his whole life.

He shuddered. "Yeah, that went over real well." Cobra frowned. "And that was Racer's fault. He dared me."

Macbeth resisted the urge to strangle his best friend. "And?" He asked leadingly. As Cobra looked at him with a confused look, Macbeth threw his hands up in despair. "Clearly you have no idea how to date! Which is why I need you to tell me what happened so I can give you advice on what to do next!"

Cobra growled, offended by the implication he had no clue about women. He knew how women worked! He was friends with Kinana, Yukino, Sorano… His thoughts trailed off as he realized that the women he was acquainted with were practically his sisters. ( _And you don't date your sisters. That's just creepy, man._ ) "Hang on," he stopped Macbeth from going into their apartment. "Why do _you_ need to be the one to give me advice? I can just ask Jellal. He has a girlfriend."

The look Macbeth gave him was downright _insulting_. " _Jellal? Are you kidding me?_ It took him _ten years_ to get up the guts to confess to the Scarlet Demon. _Ten years,_ Cobra! And I actually _have_ a girlfriend, thank you. Jellal and the Scarlet are 'speaking', _not_ dating. I'm wondering if they _ever_ will. Alberona is making a killing on the betting pool so far. Jerza will never be canon if they don't get a move on!" Macbeth muttered his way into the kitchen, slamming bags down and grumbling about Jerza, Miraxus, and boneheaded idiots who couldn't see a good thing right in front of their eyes.

When Macbeth became excited, he began speaking in italics. To be honest, Cobra thought he got a bit like the white-haired barmaid at Fairy Tail, their normal after-school haunt. The woman seemed to speak a strange language. She was always going on about ships and cannons and strange names, ( _like what the heck was a Jerza? Or a MidKino?_ ), and other naval terms that made _no_ sense. When Meredy and Macbeth got involved, the conversation devolved into foreign language territory and Cobra tuned it all out.

After putting the groceries away, Cobra threw himself facedown on their rickety couch Jellal had fondly named the Point of No Return. Macbeth perched himself on a chair, rather like an interrogator waiting to pry a confession out of an unwilling prisoner.

Macbeth was patient.

He knew his friend would crack eventually.

It was only a matter of time.

Everyone cracked if he was patient enough.

And besides, Cobra was secretly dying to tell him what happened, Macbeth was sure of it. His secret radar had gone off and it was never wrong. _Never_.

As Cobra tried to suffocate himself in the pillows while sinking into the depths of the deadly blue couch, a sudden thought hit him. "Wait a second!" Cobra's maroon head burst out of the pillows like a whale surfacing. "How do you know her last name?" He gave Macbeth a suspicious look. The red-eyed man sighed at his friend's paranoia. He had a girlfriend, there was no way he would be making a move on the girl his best friend was interested in. He tipped his head back and began rattling off a list of facts his spies had gathered for him. Yukino and the drunkess were valuable informants.

"How can you _not_? She's 21, a sophomore, the half sister of Laxus Dreyer, aunt of Sting Eucliffe by way of her much older half brother Jackal, professor of engineering, cousin to Natsu and Zeref Dragneel and Rogue Cheney, and first in her classes in English, which she is majoring in. She's the pet of Gildarts Clive, since the drunkess is a good friend of hers, the Scarlet Demon, Minerva Orlando, and Flare Corona are like her older sisters, and she has published a book under her name. You went on a date with her, how do you _not_ know all of this?"

"How do _you_ know?" Cobra gawked at his friend. This was one of those times when he questioned his long-standing friendship with the ghostlike young man.

Macbeth flashed him a rather creepy smile. "Ways and means, my friend. Ways and means." Cobra groaned and buried himself under the pillows again. "You're a total stalker, Macbeth."

"No, I'm just very dedicated."

"No, you're a stalker."

"Same difference."

Both men were silent for several long moments.

"She dropped a pile of books on my head, fell on top of me, then asked if I wanted coffee by way of apology. That's how we met." His head popped back up for a moment. "And it wasn't a date." Satisfied, Cobra vanished again, unaware of the havoc he had just wrecked on his best friend.

"She dropped books on your head?"

"Yes, that's what I said."

"And then fell on top of you?"

"Yes, why do you keep repeating me?" Instead of replying, Cobra's best friend fell off his chair laughing. Aggrieved, Cobra stuck his head out and hurled a pillow at him. It did no use and Cobra sulked like a five year old denied candy while Macbeth laughed himself out. "Stop laughing at me, Macbeth! It's not that funny!"

Macbeth sat back up, wiping his eyes and somehow not smudging his thick black eyeliner. "I actually think she's related to Kino somehow. Cousins or something like that."

Cobra paled. "Wait, that means she related to the feathery demon witch. Oh man, she has a scary family… Wait, she's related to them _and_ Death Boy and Flame Brain? I've known those two for years! How have I never met Lucy before now?"

Macbeth shrugged. "You're an oblivious idiot who is as dense as Natsu?"

"Maybe…Hey!"

Macbeth threw the pillow back at him. "Just saying, idiot."

Cobra sat up, his face turning serious. "Be honest, Macbeth. Do…do you think I have a chance with her? Any chance at all?" He really liked Lucy. She was sweet, funny, and very pretty. While they had coffee together, he had discovered they had several similar interests. She was well-read, articulate, and could defend her opinions firmly, which had lead to a spirited discussion of several popular novels and their opinions of them.

Macbeth studied his old friend. Cobra had had crushes before, but never to this extent. He was completely smitten with the blonde bombshell. Macbeth only hoped the girl wouldn't break Cobra's heart. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I think you do have a chance. It may be a slim one, but I think you should go for it. Ask her out properly and see where it goes from there."

A faint smile brushed over Cobra's face. "That's what I was thinking," he said back, just as quietly. "I'll ask her tomorrow for a real date."

They sat silently for several minutes, each with their own thoughts.

"So she _really_ dropped books on your head?"

"SHUT _UP_ , Macbeth!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Macbeth is a **_total_** CoLu shipper. No, I'm sorry, he is **_THE_** CoLu shipper. He is also a master spy and rumor mill operator. Because honestly, no one suspects the sleeping man in the corner!

There may be another chapter or two, I'm not quite sure just yet how many there will be in total. Maybe four chapters? Next chapter will be Lucy getting grilled by her friends, then maybe a date? Not sure...

Sunday the birthday story will go up, then after that is GrayLu week! YAY! I'm so excited. This will be my first time participating in a shipping week and I'm squeeing with fangirliness! :)


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